Miranda Quotes

Well hello my old chums, what a veritable thrill to see you all again, especially you... cheeky! You, coming in with your cup of tea, you're late! I mean obviously I can't see you but if you were coming in with a cup of tea then spooky slash exciting moment!

I am what I call a Miranda fanatic so welcome to my post featuring some of my what I call favourite quotes from the TV BBC Sitcom: Miranda starring Miranda Hart, Patricia Hodge, Tom Ellis, Sarah Hadland, James Holmes and Sally Phillips. I have tried looking online and can't find anywhere concrete for Miranda quotes so thought I would create a post for the best, such fun! Bear with, bear with!

“I just saw Gary; I told him I was an Olympic gymnast.”

“This is not a hoover being a man.”

“Miranda, don’t run in the corridor. It’s a gallop miss, I think all business men should do it and one day I hope to tell the nation via a TV show.”

“Bear with, bear with.”

“Such fun! Oo a double”

“Thrust!”

“The queen of all words, Moist, the king of all words, Plinth, imagine a moist plinth… Bottom!”

“Get me a skinny frappaccino, I’ve no idea what that is, I'd like to think you’d be presented with a tiny Italian man.”

“Oh I’m so sorry I think it thinks your toddlers a pheasant.”

“There’s a massive goat in my sitting room…Ghosts, I said Ghosts, Who has any strong opinions on goats?!”

“Excuse me… nut bush.”

“Being an idiot are we, slapping me are we?”

“Wearing our coat from Gap for kids are we?”

“I look like I’ve had a chiffon based anaphylactic shock.”

“I’m on a bit of a high actually.”, “Oo cool what have you taken?” “Pavlova…”

“I think you’ll find, I have chosen the superior animal”

“Cold bed dance!”

“Oh, you’ve got nice plums, as it very much were, aren’t I naughty…”

“How many times, being flashed at does not constitute a relationship!”

“If you’re going to eat, eat some fruit!” “Fatist”

“Where’s the chocolate?! Eaten on first day of purchase!”

“I haven’t got excited yet… But I am sure it will hit me at any moment…”

*Breast clap*… “What was that?”, “It was a duck quacking.”, “A duck?”, “Quacking, yes…”

"Oh good lord that's moist"

"What have you done today to make you feel proud?"

"I don't want to be friends with someone who jogs, go and have a burger!"

"A savoury muffin?! Life is full of enough disappointments Gary!"

"The other day I weighed my breasts to see how much they'd cost to post. Too heavy to go second class, if you know what I mean?!" 

"It was panning!"

"Do you hear what I'm saying?" "Well I do yes in that I'm not deaf..."

"Sue-perb... superb! how is that not funny?!"

"Have you ever walked past this meeting room and flashed during an important meeting, and if not, why not?"

"She wouldn't confiscate Christmas would she? I mean all the food and the pressies and the food and the music and the food... food and the fires and the food... food, and the food..."

"A sugar-free beetroot cake?! What next, a pea and ham sponge?!"

"I smell fat people"

"My name is dick twist." "Dick twist?!...Why not?"

"Time at current address...11.30"

"I am a one woman fiesta, imagine me with a Brazilian. Forget I said that!"

"Obese destitute. Can't write that in my newsletter can I?"

"Can you project for me profit and loss?" "PROFIT AND LOSS!"

"If you ever feel like a cake, stop yourself, have a carrot..."

"Ahhh, It's Friday night, we're in our thirties and we're having some sort of curry exam! PUT IT DOWN!"

"If only we were peacocks. He'd flash his feathers, I'd assume the position, we'd know where we were"

"If I jogged braless it would look like I was smuggling ferrets in my armpits..."

"One time i got a phone call, someone said Miranda, i said yes, he said we've got your curtains, I thought weird, what curtains?... It was a wrong number, they weren't MY curtains. They were someone else's curtains!"

"Can you stop bopping? We're shopping, not bopping!"

"When I was little I always wanted to be a piece of popcorn"

"On the farm he had a dolphin... with a keeeegh here and a click click there"

"Oh you do need the paper on the couch! I presumed it was origami  hence the origami pants slash nappy. Has anyone ever done you a swan or?...no, you're the first person who's done origami... ohhh, it's a happy day for us both then isn't it?!"

"This is absolutely fabilosibisibos"

"No need to get emotional, we're not spanish"

"This is Rupert. Oh please, call me the bear!"

"Marvolissimussolini!"

"Excuse me but our family is not fisdunctional!"

"I'm such a dweeby blurter"

"Only 3 more km to go, then you'll be halfway across the channel!...I think I'll just get the ferry."

"Want a biscuit?... MINE!!"

So...what's your favourite Miranda quote? SUCH FUN!